The Big Rhino
Seneca Street & First Avenue
Looking for something different for your next night out in Seattle? Then plan a visit to the Ork Underground, starting with dinner at the metroplex’s first and best restaurant serving authentic ork cuisine, located right at the entrance to the Underground. The Big Rhino is a Seattle landmark, known for its food, entertainment (particularly “Goblin Rock” bands that play here on the weekends), and for its sense of fun. Be sure to bring your appetite, since the portions are ork-sized and served “family style.” Have along some antacids just to be on the safe side, since the cuisine is often scorchingly spicy. Plan on getting to know your neighbors, since the seating is old-style trestle tables and benches, and you might want to pick up a word or two of or’zet before you visit (“thank you” is todo, for example).
- And “fuck you” is hodo. Don’t get them confused, kids.
- The “authentic ork cuisine” served at the Big Rhino is an eclectic fusion of soul food, barbeque (particularly the odd pig roast), Creole, and Germano-Slavic styles of cooking. I’m especially fond of the paprikash fried chicken with collard greens (sautéed in bacon fat), the hot-pepper biscuits with gravy and sour cream, and spiced pulled pork with seven-beans. The beer list is impressive, but if you get anything other than a Big Rhino Cider the first time, I’m afraid we can no longer be friends. Be warned, however, they also come “ork-sized” and pack quite a kick.
- Although the Rhino has become a thriving tourist trap with the interest in “ork culture,” it is still also a good connection with the Underground and a place for anyone looking to hire some ork or troll talent, provided they’re respectful and in good with the regulars.
- Hard Exit